Thoughts Today

It is difficult to sort through feelings, but I want to remember these times. Times of waiting and much angst in the background. These times of loneliness coupled with adapting to another new place with exciting new people. I love it. These experiences have stretched me, made me gasp and long for deeper communion with God. They expose my lack of self-motivation. I preferred solitude, then I loathed it, now I come to savor it again.

There is so much loveliness in the real, practical disciplines of the Spirit. I have never mastered them, but He has Mastered me. There is contentment, in either abundance or emptiness. This is the context we exclaim “I can do all things through Him Who gives me strength!” My circumstances are good instructors, but it is my experience of Father in this- and this- situation. Lean on the Spirit to do the gospel imperatives. It is rather important and humbling to remember how far, and in what ways He carries us. Anxiety says “We’re all gonna die!” Faith says “Yeah, but My Father has resurrection power!”

What is it that gives me hope for the future? This is the posted note I am pondering. I know the Truth, but why does it take so long to soak into our hearts? At various given moments my hope can be in other points of time. I have Hope for the future because I have Hope today.

My husband and I are at peace about the future, but these tangible things are unsettled. We find comfort in the fact that though we plan our way, the Lord directs our steps. It is exciting to dream what to do with these lives and these wild possibilities. We have our wants, but so much more a firm knowledge that His will is the best, and that our best life is not now. It is that expansive, eternal life we are living in Christ, or rather, He is living in us.

Pondering with degrees of awe:
How does God take the little things I am doing today and make them matter, for His glory?

The Life of Disciples

Jesus calls us to deny everything else to be His disciple. Nothing compares to the privilege of learning from God Himself. All my thoughts and energy are upon my Master. Nothing else can monopolize my time. Do I want to know Jesus enough that nothing in this world distracts me?

"So likewise, whosoever of he be of you that forsakes not all that he has, he cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:33).

Sometimes I list my priorities with God first, followed by the sundry duties of life. Maybe it is more correct to rate Him as my only priority, with all other duties and obligations fulfilled in that one pursuit. As a way of life instead of another space on the list. 

          1. Following hard after my Father, (and because of this)
                   a. be a good wife, mother, daughter, friend, sister-in-Christ, etc 

because Jesus says that loving my neighbor is very much like loving God (the greatest commandment). 

We have responsibility to all people, whether to continue discipleship with other believers, or call unbelievers into it. Christ is the only Master. “I am the vine, you are the branches. Apart from Me, you can do nothing”. Without Him, we really are helpless. Anything my flesh aspires will rot or burn. In Him, even the gift of a glass of water is rewarded. 

If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26-27).

If anything else in my heart could call me away from Christ, I am not worthy to be His disciple. This is sober business, brothers and sisters. Is He all I desire? Have I tasted and seen that He is good? He does not need flattery, if I do not know my need for Him, I am not one of His. This is how I know that I know Him, when I lay claim to nothing else. This is a hard calling, but He will complete His good work. His purpose is to bring many sons to glory. And is it unreasonable of Him? He is only removing the desires for these things so we will not be disappointed. In time, all these, our father, mother, spouse, children, brothers, sisters, and, yes, our own lives, will be taken away. And what will we lose? Nothing really, we are heirs of God!

"The disciple is not above his master: but everyone that is perfect shall be as his master" (Luke 6:40).

The Wonder of the Wait

Are we waiting on God or is God waiting on us? or with us? Waiting is frustrating. My husband and I can make plans to start his clinical rotations once a particularly wonderful individual in a scheduling office does their job. However, we are not waiting as if God is late to an appointment and He is in the way of progress. God has us in an holding pattern and I know well enough I always need more faith, more patience, more breaking my will and seeing His.  It is the Divine liberty to frustrate plans.

"God's sense of timing will confound ours... Jesus in effect says (to Jairus) 'I will not be hurried because I love you. I know what I'm doing. And if you try to impose your understanding of schedule on Me, you will struggle to feel loved by Me.'" (Timothy Keller, "King's Cross").

Daniel saw "the Ancient of days (sit down...and) thousand thousands ministered unto Him" (Daniel 7: 9-10). How do we standby and minister to God? I don't suppose He needs His slippers brought to Him. Are we truly capable of refreshing God's Spirit? Somehow, Omnipotent God lets us do Him service.

If you want something done right, do it yourself, or "One is never served so well as by oneself" (Charles-Guillaume Etienne). That is the motto of me, the impatient human. In contrast, it is the glory of God to be long-suffering with our inferior service. Because of His patience we have opportunity to wait on Him, and somehow, it glorifies Him! The greatest measure of our devotion is obedience, even and especially in waiting. We can wait near His throne, available to do whatever His heart desires. "How blessed are those who dwell in Your house! They are ever praising You. Selah" ( Psalm 84:4). Real contentment is in a life awed by God.

"'And now, Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in You.' Deliver me from all my transgressions..." (Psalm 39:7-8).

Your Neighbor

A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. 

Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 

But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back’ (Luke 10:30-35, ESV).

Jesus is that Good Samaritan; the One despised and rejected of men. The one from whom we learn compassion.

I am this unfortunate man, travelling my own road. I left the city of God to seek a city cursed of God.

What did I expect? I received what I deserved. I knew there were bandits lurking around each bend, hideous grimaces in the dark. It was my folly that lead me here to die with my pride, stripped naked and penniless.

A priest, only to be busied by sacred rites, shrouds me with indignation. His cleanliness-conscious brother, the Levite also quickly steps by my obscene figure in his lane of travel. The law offered only justice, no life. But wherein the law was weak, thanks be to Jesus!

He came to where I was, saw me, and had compassion. Compassion enough to bind the wounds and pour the wine of the wrath of God, on Himself!

Truly He ever “binds up the brokenhearted (Isaiah 61:1, KJV)”! He paid the uttermost farthing. He poured the oil for my healing and for my lamp because He will come back!

So this loving your neighbor, hasn’t Christ lived the life? To love GOD entirely requires a tireless effort to not only cease from our own works, but entirely abandon blasphemous acts of self-manufactured fruit.